1. I have a master’s degree in Accounting, which in no way prepared me for the world of fiction writing.
2. I have been to Japan on four separate occasions, yet my language skills are still barely at a preschool level.
3. I once lounged in a natural hot spring pool atop a mountain with thirty naked Japanese guys while it was 25 degrees and snowing.
4. I was a pall bearer in five funerals and attended over a dozen before I was sixteen years old; none of which were a result of foul play on my part.
5. My dad was struck in the face with a chainsaw when I was six. It ripped off most of his upper lip and knocked out the majority of his teeth, but he still managed to smoke a cigarette on the way to the hospital. When I write about bad ass characters there is at least a little bit of my pop in each one.
6. Despite what I have claimed in the past, the “T” in M.T. Murphy does not stand for “Tiberius.”
7. I did not actually grow sideburns when I was eleven. I was twelve.
8. I used to manage the largest men’s college dorm in the state of Alabama.
9. I have dug ditches and shoveled shit, and took pride in doing both.
10. When I let my dog in at night, I close the door behind him quickly so the zombies don’t slip inside. You can never be too careful.
11. My family has owned a cemetery since the mid-1800s and my cousins and I used to play among the tombstones when we were kids.
12. A distant cousin of mine used to play keyboard for Travis Tritt and Joe Diffie. That kind of makes me an honorary roadie for country singers with mustaches and mullets.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
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DEAR. GOD. You are a novel-worthy character, ain't you. I demand an autobiography and that you license the film rights.
ReplyDeleteI love this Mike! This was a very cool idea and interesting to say the least. So do tell... what does the T stand for?
ReplyDeleteLoved this.
ReplyDeleteAnd echo the shutting the door quick, but I worry about werewolves...
Monica: Film won't work because Steve Buscemi is locked up through 2020 and Pee Wee Herman is already mounting a comeback. No one else could do me justice.
ReplyDeleteS.D.: The T also does not stand for "Tenacious D" although that would have been pretty sweet.
Chris: I don't worry too much about werewolves. My neighbors all look tastier than I do, so I should have plenty of warning.
@Scathach: If I thought werewolves were going to come in, I'd leave the door open. YMMV.
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